renewal

i renewed my ALS again. it always puts me in a reflective mood!

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“advanced life support,” previously “advanced CARDIAC life support,” is when a patient’s lungs and/or heart stop & we work to resuscitate him/her. this certificate is good for 2 years. i remember the first time i did it in 2015. (photo from my birthday that year, as i didn’t take one in class. if there’s one thing you need to know about health care peeps, it’s that we like to EAT. we won’t say no to food!) i felt nervous, scared, incompetent, FRESH. while i was studying, i was presented with a meaningful personal opportunity. i went to a conference in anaheim & cried at disneyland πŸ˜…πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ˜‚ as i mulled over the decision. i came back home, ended up having a blast at ACLS, & shared my final choice with the involved parties

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flash forward to my renewals in 2017/2019/2021. something that was once awkward & foreign is now comfortable & instinctual. i looked around the room – newbie nurses, gray fox anesthesiologists, & everyone in between. we all grow & gain something from each other. the newbies glean clinical pearls from the seasoned veterans. the wise sages are rejuvenated from that passionate new practitioner energy

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medicine is always evolving; so am i

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i remember when norco wasn’t a schedule II controlled, when tramadol wasn’t controlled at all, when vasopressin was still in the ACLS algorithm, when cefotetan wasn’t on shortage. i remember that personal path i chose back in 2015. i was young & couldn’t really hear my inner voice. it wasn’t until it was SCREAMING at me that i caught it on my radar, & even then, i brushed it aside & thought it wasn’t a valid resource. i logic-ed my way out of listening to myself. yet now, the biggest difference is that i both ACCESS & TRUST my inner knowing. i hear it when it is merely WHISPERING to me. i cherish it as one of my highest guiding lights πŸ”₯

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my next ALS renewal will be in 2023. i don’t know where/who i will become by then. i don’t know how many more times i will renew in my career, how many more changes will happen in medicine, how much more my inner voice will expand & deepen in my life. but i’m here & committed to this ever-evolving ride 🌱


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