being selfless by being selfish

day 11/100 #the100dayproject #unleashingtogether

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saw this on a shirt. loved the idea. hated the font. had to play with it myself!

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too tired to make this caption fit in the 2200 or whatever characters allowed in the caption, so here are some screenshots from my blog

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as much as i love this energy, we also have to, and GET to, think of OTHERS. almost 1 year since that first quarantine started. i also love this other phrase i saw recently – “everyone needs more than anyone can give right now.” to be honest, i think covid is still going to be here all of 2021. everyone is tired. the vaccine gives me some hope, but unfortunately, plenty of people are still dying and still deeply affected by this virus. i don’t have many inspiring words to share these days. i don’t know how else to convey that EVERY single LITTLE action DOES contribute to the WHOLE. my hospital isn’t terribly hit right now, but i feel so deeply for all the EXHAUSTED health care workers, who may or may not actually admit how tired we really are

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this is a very simplified example of a very complex situation, but here’s one way to look at it: person A chooses to gather with friends, catches covid, and occupies an ICU bed. multiply that by who knows what factor… just think of all the people in your circles that you’re aware of who are “going out,” and then consider all the “activities” of which you are NOT aware. everyone’s bubble is bigger than anyone will admit! it only takes 1 person to spread it. do you honestly think that everyone is fully disclosing all of the people they’re actually seeing? person B is driving responsibly and gets hit by a drunk driver, needs an ICU bed, but all the beds are full, so he/she dies in the ambulance. it’s not like we can choose to hold beds open for people “just in case.” substitute person B for any patient – cancer, heart attacks, a baby delivery that suddenly turns south. this entire situation is so complex. people with chronic issues aren’t getting seen as frequently for their maintenance appointments, and then they may be coming in to the hospital under more acute/emergent circumstances. humans are SOCIAL animals, and as great as zoom calls can be, the isolation is taking its toll. mental health is such a massive issue that can’t be covered in 1 instagram post. there are just so many ramifications and systems at play here, it’s hard to even try to sum it all up

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i choose to not travel/gather, because i have no idea how big my ripple effects may be. i’d like to think that i’m doing SOMETHING to help alleviate this situation, that i’m SOMEHOW making life a LITTLE bit easier for the TIRED AF health care HEROES. mind you, i’m fully vaccinated and feeling very strong – i could be selfish right now, play, travel, and think i’m invincible. i am NOT 100% protected, AND i could still be a carrier and GIVE covid to someone. i acknowledge my privilege of living in a beautiful place, of being in an early tier for the vaccine, of having the mental, financial, and physical means to make these choices

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long story short – you have an exponential impact on the system around you. do what you will with that knowledge and responsibility

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quickie life progress report – elbow was doing GREAT, but it started clicking/hurting again and i got a new mri. will see where i go from here. been seeing my old videos leading up to my oly competition last year, and maaaan do i miss the sound/feel of my lifters (shoes) hitting the platform (wood flooring). the book writing is actually really fun. i’m not so much “sitting and writing/banging it out,” as i am more cultivating and stewarding the SPACE for the story to come THROUGH me. super grateful i joined @heyamberrae’screative alchemy. ready and excited to do the work in @kimanami’s vaginal kung fu starting next week. and @alisonarmstrong said something the other day that had my jaw on the floor, as it’s related to my life, and my books – rivers are fed by tributaries. water can flow downstream when the river is juicy, OVERFLOWING, and filling her own cup. sometimes in life, mothers/humans/anyone, can suck the life UPSTREAM out of their children/creation/whatever just to try to survive. i felt that a bit during covid. now, i intentionally fill my own cup, so that i can be a powerful resource if/when someone needs help. it may seem selfish to focus on myself… but i believe, in a sense, it’s the most GENEROUS thing that i can do right now. i want to be a bold and powerful tributary to OTHERS’ rivers, and i am grateful to the people/places/things that are tributaries to MY river


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