nikiunleashed

Did my third dance thingie! Techincally my first “competition” since it was at an actual competition, but this was the club night and felt more chill/informal/relaxed, like team match. I wasn’t going to sign up since it was less than 1 month after second team match. I mean, how much could I really have improved in that amount of time? There was and still is so much I want to fine tune. But my instructor had a point: professional sports teams play games every weekend. It’s not like they wait until they are at their PEAK to get into the arena. You improve by playing! Plus, this competition was super close to me and I didn’t have to worry about travel logistics. I couldn’t NOT do it. Glad I signed up!

These were my choices. I don’t do International Ballroom, International Latin, or Smooth, so that was easy. I wish I could’ve done my normal ones (salsa, bachata, rumba, cha cha, Argentine tango) but they were on different days and I didn’t want to pay more or go multiple days. I had to pick between Club Night or Rhythm. Depending on if I did single dances or championships/scholarships (batches of 3 dances at a time), I could pay more/less money and have more/less heats. I don’t know bolero and I don’t really like mambo. Swing was an option to throw in with cha cha and rumba. I learned it in a lesson and it’s different than West Coast, but I didn’t really want to do 2 rounds of it. Balancing finances and what styles I already knew and what styles I’d have to quickly learn, I decided to do Club Night. The theme was Hawaiian and I didn’t have to get a full on dress like I would’ve had to do for Rhythm. I don’t super like merengue, but I tolerate it enough to have been willing to throw it in with salsa and bachata in a championship. I had to figure out what other 2 singles to do to have enough heats. Country Swing and Country 2 Step are alright. Samba and Paso Doble no way was I going to learn that quickly. West Coast Swing is a little too wiggly for me. Hustle… piqued my interest. Night Club 2 Step I had no idea what it was and wasn’t really interested in learning. So hustle it was!

Got my heat list. It says 8 dances, but the last 2 were really 3 each, so it was 12 total minutes of dancing. This event went much more quickly than team match. They music never stopped and they didn’t always announce which heat they were on. Had to pay close attention.

Heat 1 = Argentine tango. Always fun! Fixed what I did wrong last time with the stationary turn. Now to work on that umm backwards quick change thingie.

Heat 2 = Argentine tango. I friggin love this dance. Should’ve put my weight on my back foot for him to slide my front foot easily. I might have to try a tango competition sometime… way down the road, I’ve got a lot of room to grow first! Noticed I’m more relaxed and take bigger/more dramatic steps during lessons than at a competition. Something to work on.

Heat 3 = hustle. So fun! Messed up a bunch. But I learned this dance the day before hahaha, I’ll take it. I’m grateful that I had to choose 2 random dances to fill in my dance card, otherwise I wouldn’t have learned hustle.

Heat 4 = hustle. Messed up a bunch again. LOOOVE this song, especially that part with the drums! Dance and musicality wise, this was probably my favorite heat of the evening. Was feelin’ the music a bit too much, noddin’ my head, and messed up my timing/footing afterwards. C’est la vie. Just so much FUN. I am very happy dancing :))

Heat 5 = bachata. Silly shimmy!

Heat 6 = salsa. This was probably my slowest/most relaxed salsa on the floor with this instructor. Yay.

Dance 7 = bachata. Technically the next 3 were all the same “heat” since it was a “championship” of 3 different dances/styles. Didn’t leave the dance floor. And these 2 “heats” were back to back, so did 6 dances in a row. Really silly thing happened right before this dance. Check out the costume in the background, the lifeguard with the huge boobies! Love how festive and just DOWN dancers can be with themes.

Dance 8 = merengue. I hate it when they play merengue at socials. It’s a break from salsa and bachata but I just don’t like it. I think the reason is that it’s kind of like fusion – it’s too much freedom…?! There isn’t enough structure 😅 And then I don’t know what to do! It was fun at this competition, though. And I should take it as an opportunity to slooow down even more since there are no steps to get to by a certain time/count.

Dance 9 = salsa. I don’t know why I got my timing so messed up this round. Onward. Pineapple dress isn’t a professional!!! Sweetest lady and such an inspiration of what is possible.

Dance 10 = bachata. Final heat of this competition. A very enthusiastic banana was cheering my name lol, thank you.

Dance 11 = merengue. Okay… I guess I’m starting to like merengue… enjoy that it is mellow!

Dance 12 = salsa. Kind of like weightlifting where you tell yourself, “last set, best set.” Last dance is always a solid one. Maybe because I’m warmed up and relaxed. Maybe because I’m relieved that I’m almost done. This was probably my best dance of the night.

Didn’t know “championship” meant anything. I was just using it as a way to get in enough dances. Got a medal for somethin’! Need to ask how to read the score sheet, because if I was the only one in my category then this means absolutely nothing to my competitive butt lol.

Oura stats. Night shift is wild. Surprised I only had 1 stress point the whole time I was there! And that I had a lot of relaxed time, that didn’t happen for first or second team matches.

Overall, grateful I gave myself this experience! My instructor had a point: people don’t regret doing it, they regret NOT doing it. And, more floor time never hurts. Now that I’ve done it, I have to say that I agree. The event was right in my own backyard. I would’ve kicked myself if I didn’t take advantage of this opportunity while it was here.

I’m excited to go watch the pros do their thang this weekend!

Pleasant surprises

• Really enjoyed the swish of the skirt someone let me borrow for second team match. Liked it so much that I bought my first dance skirt :)) What a girl lol. It was fun feedback as I was dancing.
• So many good conversations throughout the night! Anyone who spends time and money on dance is probably a pretty cool human. Some highlights to jog my future memory.
  • Leaving big careers, adjusting/feeling a bit down afterwards, and now living and enjoying a simple and fulfilling life.
  • Grandkids with cool names doing cool things, loving dance, not necessarily dancing with your spouse but still enjoying the heck out of it for yourself.
  • Planting seeds of positive potential in others, regardless of what environment or emotional landscape you’re in yourself.
  • Hearing how long people have been dancing and seeing how much progress they’re making. And learning everyone’s reasons for dancing. Some just want to have fun. Some want to compete and improve their technique. Most are somewhere in between. I particularly LOVE seeing people in their 60s and 70s living with so much energy, health, and vibrancy. Age is just a number. They all say they’ve never felt younger or healthier. I really think there is something to movement + enjoyment + community for long term health and longevity. Not just quantity/duration of life, but the quality/ENJOYMENT of it. Dance doesn’t have to be yo’ thang. But please, go find where YOUR joy is!
• Hilarious to see how creative things can be. There was a competition to dance with both legs straight, and then with 1 straight and 1 bent leg. So many ways to play with movement! Thought it would be impossible, but people were dancing well to it. I don’t know what I don’t know.
• I have muscle memory now?! And it isn’t necessarily a good thing! The flashpoint that I struggled with for so long in salsa is evidently now muscle memory. I didn’t even realize I was doing it during hustle until my instructor made me aware of it. Then I had to keep telling myself to NOT do it! Good and very cool to know that my body has internalized something. Now to tap into awareness and intentionality in choosing what actions to take and when, while somehow striking a balance of also trusting my body to “don’t think, just do” when it really matters.
• This might sound silly but I really love being a woman! It’s so much FUN!!! Was a bit of a tomboy growing up and I suppose I still kind of am. I don’t know that I’ll ever get into makeup, and I can’t believe that I LIKE dancing in heels now. But hot damn, wearing a flowy skirt, twirling around, loving my hair, dancing with/following/being led by gentlemen, laughing and smiling and getting to enjoy life!? Ugh it’s literally SO FUN. I’ve heard from a decent number of people that they like watching me dance and it puts a smile on their faces seeing me enjoy myself. I’m glad it comes across clearly, because I really am having a blast and am so grateful that I started this journey when I did, and that I didn’t wait until “later.” I may never be the most skilled or graceful person on the floor, but I can almost guarantee that I am and will always be the one having the most fun. I genuinely hope that everyone finds whatever makes them as deliriously happy as dance makes me.

Things to explore moving forward

• I guess the next step is to do a real day/night at a real competition?! I’d have to learn different dances/styles to qualify for that. And get a real dress. And shellac my hair? This is down the road… maybe…
• Expand my quiver/repertoire. Learn other dances/styles. There is SO MUCH in the dance world, how to choose where to go next? Maybe based on what music I would be dancing to. I liked what they played for night club 2 step, maybe I’ll learn that one.

Things to work on

• This is probably always going to be the same list. The depth/details are probably what will change, depending on what my level is and where I want to go next. More active feet and ankles. More engaged legs. More pronounced hips. More focus on ribs, that seems to be a good cue for me. Arms good golly need HALP. More adornos/expressive feet for Argentine tango. SPOTTING. Frame. More balance and more ownership of my axis.
• This needs its own bullet because it has its own life lesson too. Cross body leads. Don’t just wait for him to lead me (though that’s a good first step to not forget 😅), but actively meet his point of contact. Everywhere, like in more ways than I’m currently aware of/practicing. Hands for turns. Frame. Shoulders. Ribs. I need to work on always giving equal and opposite pressure, like contact improv. Meet life where life is touching me. Go when and where life is inviting me! Engage. Be active! Connect. Have fun playing with creating space and then closing the gap. Enjoy the elasticity and dynamics and “WEEEEEEE!” feeling.
• Consistency and reliability. My brothers recently taught me how to shoot a basketball more gracefully and, frankly, correctly lol. I realized the key and therefore the fatal flaw to all my athletic endeavors. I keep changing the mechanics instead of focusing on the fundamentals and NOT CHANGING THEM, NO MATTER WHAT. Stop getting distracted by situational circumstances. My Olympic weightlifting fails were always because I got freaked out by the weight loaded on the bar, and I didn’t hit the correct positions that I KNEW I needed to and was capable of hitting. I didn’t trust the mechanics to carry me. My dancing fails are always because I am distracted by the timing, or I get in my head about “wanting to be a good follow,” or some other silly thing. I don’t come back to the home position of my hip sitting back and allowing space for the next beautiful step to take place (or Argentine tango, coming back to my axis). I changed the mechanics in basketball when I stepped further and further away from the hoop. (Shout out to my brother, it also helps to actually LOOK at the rim lol. Big life lesson there. Eyes on the prize!) I didn’t come back to the home position from which to shoot my shot. I need to work on being centered in/on myself and utterly unfazed by anything outside of me. Art, too. Who the hell cares about what anyone else is writing or painting? Has zero impact on what III am here to express/activate.
• Stop deciding at the last minute that I will enter a competition lol.
• Oh, and ask how to interpret a score sheet.

Thank you to

• People who filmed for me.
• The audience and fellow dancers for the great conversations and fun vibe/camaraderie.
• My instructors for encouraging me to do this while also not being pushy.

If I had to choose a TL;DR overarching lesson for each dance thingie I’ve done so far, it would be these

• First team match. Just do the thing, whatever it is.
• Second team match. There will always be room to improve.
• First dance competition. This is AND isn’t a big deal. This is probably the most surprising and most meaningful thing that dance has taught me thus far.
  • This is just… normal now? I mean, sure, it’s cool I did this thing. But also, this was just a random Tuesday night. This is just life now? There was a time when it would’ve been absolutely ridiculous and preposterous to compete in dance at all, let alone on a random weeknight. Now it’s just… a thing I wanted to do, so I did it. I was very surprised that I didn’t feel much of a high afterwards. After first and second team match, I was on cloud 9 for a day or two. After this one… it lasted about until I walked to my car to drive home lol. I got home, ate dinner, watched my videos once, and looked at my calendar for when I’m next getting into the studio. Not that it lost its luster, but… Training just continues. You just keep going.
  • I can think back to life chapters that I thought would be a massive deal. They were… and they weren’t. I can also imagine future desires that seem like a big deal. While yes, I will be grateful for those experiences… I can also see how they will just become NORMAL and I will quickly acclimate to life at that level. I don’t currently know what I would do with or how I would manage having a net worth of a trillion dollars. But trillionaires just… live? They just… do the thing? It’s just their reality, it’s just the “normal” that they have created for themselves.
  • I remember I bought and engraved myself a necklace when I “became a pharmacist.” At the time, it was a huge deal. It was a goal I was working toward for a long time, and I wanted to celebrate. Now I… it isn’t that I take it for granted, but I… hm, I guess I do take it for granted. I recently bought myself another necklace to mark a new chapter that I am keeping private for now. I can see how, to my current self, this is The Biggest Thing I Have Ever Done. And yet, a year from now, or maybe in 6 months, but definitely in a decade, I will look back and think, “Oh cute baby. That was just the next natural step on your journey.” Is and isn’t a big deal, depending on your mindset and vantage point.
  • Fail a board exam by 2 points? Is and isn’t a big deal. Serve as the solo night shift pharmacist for a whole hospital? Is and isn’t a big deal. Didn’t grow up camping? Is and isn’t a big deal. Solo car camping? Is and isn’t a big deal. Solo backpacking? Is and isn’t a big deal. Got invited to a search and rescue team? Is and isn’t a big deal. Solo domestic travel for a week? Is and isn’t a big deal. Solo international travel for a month? Is and isn’t a big deal. Meet someone cool? Is and isn’t a big deal. Fall in love? Is and isn’t a big deal. Break up? Is and isn’t a big deal. Get a divorce? Is and isn’t a big deal. Get engaged? Is and isn’t a big deal. Get married? is and isn’t a big deal. Get pregnant? Is and isn’t a big deal. Have kiddos? Is and isn’t a big deal. Win a Grammy? Is and isn’t a big deal. Write a best seller? Is and isn’t a big deal. Win the Superbowl? Is and isn’t a big deal. Cure all disease, end hunger, fix the climate, solve world peace? Is and isn’t a big deal. Die? 😂 Is and isn’t a big deal.

• • To the human, sure, this is a massive deal. To the eternal soul/divine, this is but a drop in the bucket. It’s truly amazing how humans can adapt to new levels of “normal.”
  • Like, I can’t remember a time when I DIDN’T dance. I can’t remember a time when I DIDN’T travel or backpack solo. I’ve heard from enough people now that I believe it to be true that when you get married or become a parent, you can’t really remember a time when you WEREN’T. I’m not saying any of this to belittle “big” experiences or to pedestalize “small” experiences. I am merely saying that I will just keep expanding to hold whatever is here now. And that expansion will give me belief, confidence, and momentum to occupy even more of my full potential.
  • Which brings me to… the big life lesson I think I’m here to (re)learn. It always comes down to being present. I would imagine with marriage, enjoy THIS iteration. With parenting, enjoy THIS day, THIS hour, THIS moment. In surfing, ride THIS wave. In weightlifting, hit THIS rep. In painting, feel THIS stroke. In dance, be in THIS beat (and complete THIS body action [and fully engage THIS body part {and have fun haha}]).
  • For me right now? Enjoy not even this chapter or page or sentence – but enjoy this phrase, this word I am currently penning. It is coloring and actively guiding everything that I am becoming.

Always a pleasure dancing with these two tall, patient, and talented goofballs :))