i’m softening 🌻

lately, a lot of people have been commenting that i look different. they just give me this… look… and they say i look beautiful, or that my face is somehow different. i do have invisalign, and i think on some level my bones are changing so my foundation is changing so my structure is changing. i told my orthodontist today about people’s comments, that they can’t really articulate it, but they all give me the same look. he paused, looked at me, and said – yeah, your face is softer

i’ll be frank – i’ve always been told i’m “pretty” or “beautiful.” i know people meant it as a compliment, but i received it as… incomplete? inside i would argue and rebel. even my old art reflects this – “how dare you judge me superficially! i am so much more than that! can’t you see i’m smart strong capable kind loving creative adventurous too?!” i wouldn’t want little girls to feel how i felt. so i always made it a point to ask them about school, or their interests, or what they enjoy playing with and imagining and learning about. i saw little boys being valued for their characteristics, and i perceived little girls as being valued “only” for their looks. when men i dated would tell me i’m beautiful or pretty, i would shrug it off and think they were just trying to get something from me

i have changed. boys and girls are DIFFERENT. men and women are DIFFERENT. and that is a good and beautiful thing!!!

now, i receive these compliments whole heartedly. i imagine people mean it in the same way that i feel about miles teller’s beach wiggle in top gun 😂 i’m not gawking over his body or face. i am sensing his energy, and he as-a-whole-energetic-being is just… gorgeous!

i believe this change isn’t just that invisalign is moving my bones. i deeply believe that my internal landscape is vastly expanding, deepening, softening… and i think people are able to sense that

so, yes. i am indeed beautiful. thank you, truly!, for your compliment 🍯

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