paths

(videos here! https://www.instagram.com/p/CLUfRNiFAQq/?igshid=anwzwx6m1jpa)

oly meet 1 year ago, one of the most fun days ever! grateful for that team/coach/experience. proud i accomplished it soon after consistently going to class! nov ’19-feb ’20 = 3 MONTHS

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reminds me of other paths i’ve walked. zero outdoor experience > solo camped > backpacked > tried out/made the cut for SAR. jul ’18-oct ’19 = 15 MONTHS

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ehh on SATs > killed ACTs > 2y undergrad > 3y grad > Pharm.D. diploma > failed a board exam by 2 FUCKING POINTS (how do you even measure that?!😑) > learned hospital pharmacy > flying solo on night shift & running the whole hospital = YEARS in the making

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my previous paths in VASTLY DIFFERENT life arenas all had the SAME stages & learning curves (not necessarily in this order!)

🥾 excitement

🥾 absolutely no clue wtf i was doing

🥾 wanting to quit & feeling exhausted

🥾 monotonous drudgery

🥾 (very) FLEETING (therefore unreliable!) moments of inspiration

🥾 some waves of enjoyment & genuinely being in the FLOW of life

🥾 resting when necessary

🥾 hitting plateaus & feeling like i was regressing

🥾 knowing that i couldn’t turn back to the person i was before

🥾 improvising & figuring it out along the way

🥾 things ending up better than i had the capacity to even fathom when i was fresh & green at the starting line

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there are paths i will…

🔴 start, try on for size, realize aren’t for me, and decide to NOT continue

🟡 start, recognize i’m headed for the WRONG mountain, and backtrack to change EVERYTHING

🟢 start, stumble through, and complete

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all those paths are OKAY! it actually takes deep self-AWARENESS & RADICAL honesty to do those things! 💪🏽

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i don’t KNOW how my elbow healing or love or art/writing paths will end. i have a goal lined up in my sights… but the DETAILS of how traversing that terrain will actually TRANSPIRE… i can’t know until i’m AT those junctures!

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i DO have evidence that i’ve progressed through paths before. i DO know there are plenty more paths ahead. i DO know i have the power, the RESPONSIBILITY, to (re)create myself as many times as i want & need in this lifetime

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ultimately, this all boils down to… listen to my compass along the way & unleash myself by walking MY PATH! 🥾🤤🔥


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