here and now

17-years-young. the summer after junior/before senior year of high school. i thought i was so grown up – about to be the oldest class on campus! πŸ˜‚ lol i was a CHILD. i had no clue how the world actually worked. i still kind of don’t. but i have the capacity, ability, privilege, and responsibility to learn and unlearn for the rest of my life. it’s wild – the more answers i find, the more questions i have.

am i happy to be alive? hell yeah. am i proud of the world i live in? ehhhh, complex answer.

i will do my part – so that when my kiddos are that age, when i bring them to the locations i’ve been to – the world will hopefully be a more aware, more honest, more raw place. and i’m NOT talking about “love and light.” i’m talking about getting our hands dirty, facing our ugly and shitty sides, and actively choosing to feed the good wolf – inside us and inside the collective.

i wish i could stay young, dumb, unaware. but it’s truly a privilege to be able to grow old. when i see patients getting admitted at 92, 95, 101-years-old… i think, “WOW, the things they must’ve seen, the people they must’ve loved, the lessons they must’ve learned.” i don’t know how many years i’ll get to have on this planet. i do know that i am here, at this particular place at this particular time, for a reason. we all are. we could’ve been born in a different country, different body, different generation. but WE are HERE. and we have our work cut out for us. let’s get to it.

(i miss the days when date stamps were still on photos. and dang, i just realized, i’m STILL using that backpack!)

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