I don’t believe in settling.
I do, however, believe in “good enough.” It has taken me years to understand the difference.
There is a concept of satisficers versus maximizers that really resonated with me. Satisficers make decisions by choosing things that satisfy their requirements. Maximizers make decisions by gathering lots of data and choosing the most optimal option.
When I first heard this, I thought, of course I want to be a maximizer! And I realized – I already was one. True story to poke some fun at myself that I can now laugh about: I once ordered 12 calendars on Amazon to see which one I’d like best, knowing I could easily return the ones I don’t fancy. Who orders 12 of ANYTHING to make a decision!!!
I have come to learn that being a maximizer is actually quite exhausting, and so unnecessary. I am becoming more of a satisficer, and here’s why: satisficers enjoy more peace and joy in their lives. Satisficers know themselves, their needs, their inner voice, and let THAT guide their decisions, instead of letting constant comparison run their lives. When I was always on the hunt for the best book, or the best journal, or the best new article to read, it was overwhelming to feel like there are infinite options out there. I can’t read EVERY book on the planet! I also used to have a goal of visiting every single country and swimming in every major ocean. Sure, I could still achieve those lofty goals, but that sounds way too stressful for me to pursue.
I am learning that the biggest and best thing about being a satisficer is knowing, embracing, and fully accepting what is enough FOR ME. It is about knowing my inner voice, my own soul, and accepting what is GOOD and JOYFUL and ENOUGH (actually, PLENTY!) for ME specifically. It is easy in this world of social media to get sucked into the trap of comparison and FOMO (fear of missing out). But why should I order 12 calendars on Amazon? I can trust myself enough to see what I like and confidently commit to it. Why should I have a checklist of 195 countries and 5 oceans to visit in this lifetime? I can trust myself to choose the ones that would be meaningful to me and fully enjoy the moment when I eventually get there.
I went to the beach last week not expecting to find anything. I went simply to enjoy the nice weather (75 degrees in February!) and hear the waves crashing on the shore. I stumbled upon my first piece of sea glass! A little serendipitous gift and affirming reminder from the Universe that it is more than okay to be fully in the moment and ENJOY life in all of its current glory.
A Christmas song that used to drive me up the wall because of its repetitive lyrics was “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hMhMekfIyos). After realizing that I enjoy life SO MUCH MORE as a satisficer and no longer feel the pressure to perform or compare as a maximizer, I came to LOVE this song! Specifically, these lyrics: “We’re here tonight, and that’s enough. Simply having a wonderful Christmastime.” It is ENOUGH to be in the present moment with loved ones. It is ENOUGH to know thyself and stop comparing, stop idealizing, stop trying to maximize every aspect of our lives.
I am still very interested in personal growth and will never stop growing myself. However, I am learning that it is okay to ENJOY life and to not always be fine-tuning it. I worked hard to get where I am today, I should be enjoying the fruits of my labor! And as I continue to work hard to build my future, I am going to allow myself to enjoy this moment, this life, this reality, in all that it ALREADY is. I am plenty good enough for me. 💜
How can you gift yourself more peace and shift from a maximizer to a satisficer? What are you grateful for in your current life?