Check out this quick quiz: https://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/3706759/Gretchen-Rubin-s-Quiz-The-Four-Tendencies.
Thank you to a friend of a friend for sharing this with me. Very interesting results, but made sense as I reflected on it. I am an Obliger. This means I tend to meet outer expectations and resist inner expectations.
I admittedly haven’t read the book, but when I saw what each of the four tendencies were, I wished I was an Upholder. I thought that Upholders were the ideal situation. But as I’ve been trying to explore in this blog, nothing is perfect, and there is always room to grow.
I realized that I do not need to judge myself for not being “ideal” and I need to accept myself exactly as I am. Be present with where I’m at and grow from here! Take the quiz and don’t judge yourself for your result; use it to your advantage!
My boyfriend joked that a coworker’s daughter is starting to hit the age where she is becoming interested in Crossfit and that we should go sometime. It made me think of all my friends’ kids, especially their daughters. If I imagine that they were watching me during a WOD, I would push harder and not quit. I would want to be an example of a strong and dedicated woman and athlete. If it were “just me” in my head, I would probably put the bar down sooner, take more/longer breaks, and not push as hard. Even in my imagination, I am meeting outer expectations and resisting inner ones.
Use your tendency to to work for you, not against you. If I know I’m meeting a friend for a WOD or a yoga session, I won’t bail, because I don’t want to let them down. I uphold that outer expectation. But if it’s just me heading to a training session, I might not go if I feel too tired after a long day. I resist the inner expectation. In an ideal world, I would be able to self-motivate all the time and perfectly execute all of my dreams and goals. But the world isn’t perfect and my will power muscle can only be stretched so far. Who cares why I go to the workout (inner vs outer expectations)? I just care that the workout is getting done! Learn your tendency and use it to “trick” yourself into getting the results you want. Don’t judge yourself for not being “ideal.” Use this as yet another tool in your box to unleash yourself and move towards the life you know you’re capable of living. Knowing this about myself, it would be prudent to schedule workout dates to make it easier for me to hit my targets.
This blog is also an accountability tool that helps me with my outer expectations. This acts as a sort of public journal. If I’m going to share my thoughts, struggles, and ways of living, then I’d better be practicing what I’m preaching! This blog aligns with my Obliger tendency. If I know that someone out there is reading my musings, then I am more likely to utilize my own words in my own life, out of fear of letting that reader down. I am upholding outer expectations. I resist inner expectations in that I could just live out these words for my own volition, but now that I have heard the Obliger idea articulated, I can see that I do have that tendency to let my goals slide for myself.
Being aware of my tendency also helps me see where I can grow. I know that I resist inner expectations. When I feel myself emergency braking on something I want to do for myself, I can catch myself. I can calm myself down and remind myself that I can and should go for it. I can also twist it to make my own expectations “outer” expectations to make it more likely I take appropriate action. I can tell my Current Self to go for the gold because my Future Ideal Self is counting on me (current self), and I don’t want to let her down!
What tendency are you? How can you use it to your advantage? How can you make it easier on yourself to reach your goals and make good, sustainable habits? Let’s discuss in the comments below!